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  • Amber Holly

two hundred and seventeen

It’s been 217 days since I last posted, and let me tell you… it’s been a life changing two hundred and seventeen days. Now if you’re bad at math like I am, 217 days would take us back to April… a month I will never forget. Ask me how many times I have tried to write since then – the answer is too many! I would start. I would get emotional. I would overshare. I would delete. Over and over again.


So what the fuck happened?


It started with some news that really took me for a loop. I was sad. I was disappointed. I was hurt. And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, it did! I got the call. The cancer. It was back.

My Best Friend. My Aunty. My Rent-A-Mom. My Everything.


At this point, we didn’t know how severe it was, we just knew it was back – and this time it was in her bones, from head to toe! And the news continued to get worse – and then worse! There is no cure – its terminal!


I am still processing. I am still confused. I am still heartbroken. I still am sad.


Okay – let’s fast forward to the end of the month! It was Monday, April 29th – Aunties Birthday! I took the day off, as we had plans to spend the day shopping before family dinner! Well, I got a call in the morning. She was crying. She told me the truck tires got slashed, and that I would have to come to the lake and pick her up!


ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!


I frantically get dressed, get into the car, and start driving! I call Kim – we are both freaking out! Why today? Why her? Why did this have to happen? How much are the new tires going to be? How can we help? I swear to god, I drove as fast as I could, but that trip out to the lake took ten times longer than normal! I get to the lake, throw my car into park, quickly look at the truck tires, and open the trailer door... AND MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER!


Bradley was down on one knee holding the most perfect ring, with our families behind him, each holding a sign filled with pictures of our adventures, saying " Will You Marry Me?"


It was silent, minus my obnoxious sobbing! To be completely honest, I don't remember a word he said. I was in complete shock.


HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM, AND I SAID YES!

It was a complete roller-coaster of a day! From sad/angry crying the entire way to the lake, to happy I get to spend the rest of my life with you tears in the presence of the most important people!




Life after April

Well let me tell you, it hasn’t been easy! Each day continues to be an up-hill battle, filled with an abundance of emotions! I am learning to live day by day, and I am so grateful for all my friends, family, and co-workers who continue to support me through what seems to be the most difficult days my life!


I hope to write again soon.


XOX Amber Holly

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love yourself
xox
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